Today im feeling a little blue. well i think i am, i have a boyfriend, a job, an active fashion course, a great family and wonderful friends. but all of a sudden, its all very trivial. i hate when people die; like my gran, my great auntie, my grandads friend and pretty soon, my mum's uncle. its kinda strange having another terminal relative. its exhausting knowing and thinking of what to say, how to look, what to do. and its gonna change my life. for years, we have been the family that scrimps and saves to stretch out the househld earnings over every month, holding back splurge purchases and unneccesary buys to save our money and handle it wisely. but were about to get some serious inheritance and its horrible to think that our lives will change for the better in terms of money but it will be one less family member on the christmas list and i truly hate it. i really struggle with my gransd death and that was february 2004. funerals are the worst; the crying, the people, that car holding our family in a box visible in the boot. urgh, and the wardrobe choices.
Aside from that, my day's just peachy. Apart from the fact that i'm skint, lonely and can't stop doubting myself.
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